Time vs Drive

I don't think I'm alone in wishing I had more time to pursue passions. Just today, I caught myself talking to my partner about how I'd like to be spending more time contributing to open source projects. I then caught myself lying by saying that between work and a personal project, I just don't have the time.

I immediately called myself on this lie. I knew instantly that time isn't the problem. I will come home from work, make dinner and play games, maybe scroll on some websites for a while to fill time. I have the time. I need to rework what I do with it. With the proper drive, that time can be found.

The real problem is that drive is a far more difficult thing to come by. Time is all around us. We have time. In 2018, it has become so easy to fill that time with mindless actions. I try to keep on a meditation schedule to combat this, but even that doesn't fix a lack of drive, or “will,” or whatever you want to call it. Boy do I wish I had an answer to finding the drive to keep working towards goals. For me, its just something that is either there, or not. It comes and goes in waves. Maybe the next high tide will last a little longer.

Until then, at least I can be honest with myself and push along.